How Mexico changed my life

Oh boy, here we go! My husband and I met in USA. He was Mexican and I was of course American. We met at work, fell in love and then got married. 1 year and half later he proposed we move to Mexico after 9/11, I thought he was insane. Prior to moving to Mexico, I had already learned and knew about the delicious food, the culture and everything because I had met and lived with his Family in the USA. It was still a CULTURE SHOCK when I went there. I loved it there, the food, the shopping at the Markets, just everything. His state was the Capital for the Mariposas (Butterflies) that flew once a year to this special part of Mexico. I learned how to make tortillas, how to cook and bake awesome Mexican food, and how to clean. Well, I would also like to add my daughter was born in Mexico with natural child birth and I don’t regret anything and in fact I still miss it sometimes. :) So much more but, for another day.

Jacquelyn

See more progress on: Mexico

I OWN A CAR!!!

A 1992 Toyota Camry I bought with my Tax Return! WOOHOO!!!

See more progress on: Own a car

Is All Love Lost?

Maybe I am just Traditional or still have Hope for the relationship I had with my ex-husband.

Everyone tells me to move on and get a divorce but I don't believe that having another relationship will solve how I feel and getting a divorce to me just doesn't seem to be the right thing to do.

I always believed you Fall in Love, Get Married and Live Happily Ever After...but what ever happened to the Ever After part? Was I Really supposed to be separated from my husband?

When I think about moving on it just doesn't feel right. I haven't spoke to my ex-husband in more than two years.

I also feel so part of his Culture and Traditions, it hurts whenever I see someone from that Country or place. The Language, The Food, The Music, its too much for me. Its as much part of me as it is my daughters and she was born in Mexico! Its almost unreal. No one really understands but that is ok, I guess they are not supposed to.

Other than that, I feel lost.

The Reality

I went on a date last night which caused me to come to the conclusion that I do not want to be with anyone anytime soon or possibly never. I like being Single. I think I will always like to be Single and I could never Compromise or make any sacrifices in any relationship because I am so set in doing things my way. Yes I get lonely sometimes, but who cares? I get over it.

The date was really nice, he brought me Red Roses, which in the last 5 dates I have been on these past two years the guys have brought me nothing. He also reminded me of my ex-husband, who I am not fully over. He was a nice person.

I also know my mother has great dreams for me to be married so she doesn't feel like she has to 'take care of me' anymore. I, on the other hand, do not want that nor feel that way. I will eventually live on my own and that will make me happy. Not only will I be Independent but also Financially Stable.

I am working on two big businesses. That and spending time with my Daughter is my passion right now.

Walk Away by Kelly Clarkson

I am not a big fan of Kelly Clarkson...but it seems I like her stuff more and more...but anyway she wrote this song that just touched me. Here are the Lyrics:

You've got your mother and your brother, every other
Under cover telling you what to say
You think I'm stupid
But the truth is, that it's Cupid
Baby, loving you has made me this way

So before you point your finger
Get your hand off of my trigger,oh yah
You need to know this situations getting old
And now the more you talk, the less I can say
I'm looking for attention
Not another question
Should you stay or should you go?
Well, if you don't have the answer
Why you still standing here
Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey
Just walk away
Just walk away, Just walk away


I waited here for you like a kid waiting after school
So tell me how come you never showed
I gave you everything and never asked for anything
And look at me, I'm all alone
So before you start defending, baby
Stop all your pretending

I know ,you know ,I know
So what's the point in being slow,
"Let's get this show on the road today"

I'm looking for attention
Not another question
Should you stay or should you go
Well, if you don't have the answer
Why you still standing here
Hey,Hey, Hey, Hey
Just walk away
Just walk away, Just Walk Away


I want a love
I want a fire
To feel the burn
My desires
I want a man by my side
Not a boy who runs and hides
Are you going to fight for me
Die for me
Live and breathe for me
Do you care for me
Cause if you don't then just leave

I'm looking for attention
Not another question
Should you stay or should you go
Well, if you don't have the answer
Why you still standing here
Hey, Hey, Hey, Hey
Just walk away If you dont have the answer
Walk Away
Just Walk Away
Then Just Leave
oh yeah



walk away(x2)


That song means alot to me. Thanks Kelly for Writing it! :)

Bad Mom

Today I was a little frustrated and it caused me to overthink my situation. My daughter was in my face the whole day. I was getting annoyed, what parent wouldn't? I had spent some time with her, I took her outside and watched her play with her 'horsey'(horse cart) and her 'wee' (slide) and then of course the hours came and she kept throwing little fits here and there and I of course did not like that. I do not have alot of patience and I usually like to do peaceful things like work on my business ventures.

Well, I was thinking maybe I should have never been a mom. I am not good at this and maybe this isn't really meant for me but it just happened and I will probably be the mother she had wanted because I don't meet her needs and that I am just not cut out for this.

Well, after all the fits and whining throughout the day, right after my daughter's bath she was climbing on me kissing me and whispering in my ear to play fun with grandma.

Then, at that moment I realized I love my daughter and I would always want to be a mother especially to her, no matter what.

I know its been a long time since My Last Post....

My Focus has been nothing but Money, Money, Money and how to get and make more. I was trying to get My Jerky Business off the ground but realize for the same amount of Time, Effort and Marketing I could be Making a WHOLE heck of alot more. So I have officially changed my Focus. Which is something I didn't want to do because I am such a Opportunity Hopper but I think I found one I will be doing for a while and will be able to get My Life where I had Wanted and PLANNED for it to be this year.

Still Single. Yes Sex and the City...or more like No Sex and Rural Community for Me! Oh well, I guess that is why they invented toys. LOL. My mom is trying to fix me up with this Latino. He is a few years older than me, already been married also...but I don't know if I want to go there again. The last guy I dated was a prick, MAJOR PRICK and I never really got anything beneficial out of it. Lets face it people the Dating Scene Sucks already know! But I also know what it is like to be Married and what it is like to be a Single Mom. HA! None of it is really bad nor really good. That is why Technology invented good plastic for people like me!

Whom, whats to come? Well, I figure once I am living comfortable I can cut out the work hours and go see some family and go on some vacations. My WHY for Financial Independence is yes, Family but also Freedom. At work I go as far I can till I know when I had reached my limit as far as the button pushing goes. I am not good at this Employee stuff, never have been. I do not like people telling me what to do. My boss is lucky he is as laid back as he is LOL. Or I am, I think another Employer would have fired me by now LOL. Not that I do it intentionally but I know I am just not meant for this kind of Lifestyle and everyday I try to grip the reality of what I live now. Being a Single Mom, alot of things happen...you moods go from Anger to Depression...although I know I am not depressive but you know, when you have alot of time to think about things, it does things to you. No one understands though and its hard to come to grips with that also. See! This is why I quit Writing, because I can't. :*(

But anyway new subject. So since I haven't been to school since Job Corps when I came back from Mexico. I decided to get Certified in this Real Estate thing at work so I know I am not killing all my brain cells doing repitious nonsense all day. Calling people and Helping them into their Program. At least then I feel like I did something Important this year.

I was thinking of cutting down some of My Projects and maybe bringing in a couple of quality ones. I am not sure. I feel like I work so much my head spins and then I cannot remember normal things. If that makes any sense. Oh well.

This is My Year though. No more Paycheck to Paycheck.

Bruk's Place

Bruk's Place

Blog Envy - It's all my mother's fault...

Blog Envy - It's all my mother's fault...

My Las Vegas Vacation

Well it all started Friday Morning at 5 am. I got ready and got my daughter ready and my friend came over and picked us and immediately we went to the 96.3 to see a Psychic who is there every Friday before we headed out for Vegas.

She told me some very interesting things about myself. I had asked her about Personal Relationships and she had told me right now I am like a Wounded Warrior. I keep Relationships at Sword Length and I am content if they do not work out and it is pointless for me to persue them. She said I will probably be thinking about falling in love in 2 years. She also said that I like to care for others and I should be a teacher of some sort for a Career. She said she also sees me taking classes and seeking more education. I thought the whole thing was very interesting and will be doing a full reading in the near future.

Well after the whole Radio Station reading we headed out for Vegas after we had Breakfast at McDonalds.

Friday night after we went into Vegas we went and saw my dad and let him see his Grandbaby for the second time in his life...it has been two years since he last saw her...he said she was adorable. She was scared of him at first but then after a while warmed up to my dad which made me feel better. Friday night we were going to hang out with my dad but he had to work late so we took the kids to dinner at a Casino and then toured the Strip back to the house and stopped to get groceries then decided to hit the hay because it had been a long drive up to Vegas. Ahhh sleep.

The next day we woke up and had breakfast and drawing at the TimeShares Breakfast Roo. I was really surprised that they had a theme of "Bloody Mary's and Donuts" I really didn't think they were REAL Bloody Mary's LOL. I also thought they were pretty good but quite strong. Then after the Breakfast we headed out and went to go see my dad and head out to 'Circus Circus'for the kids and then check out the new Casinos on the Strip like Paris Casino, NY, NY Casino...they all looked Grand and Beautiful. Then FINALLY we took the kids back home to play and sleep and then headed out to Sam's Town so that the BIG Kids Could Play! LOL. I played my usual Black Jack and I learned Roulette from my friend and my dad just watched and then we had this Wonderful dinner at the Casino...Steak and Crab Cakes, Soup, Baked Potato and what it seemed this half gallon size German Beer. It was all really good food. Then we all decided to go home and go to bed since we had to go back Sunday to Utah. I said Goodbye to my dad and then we went home and went to bed. But one of my favorite things I love to do when I am at a Casino is sit at the Black Jack Table with a Pina Colada and Play...it is one of my favorite things and I make sure every time when I am in Wendover or Vegas to keep my own Personal Tradition alive. :) I also only lost $20. :)

The next day we were out and headed back to Utah. It seemed like the drive took forever. It was pretty quiet most the way back. We also stopped and saw my friend's sister.

About half way back I had received a phone call from Brent Hunsaker of Channel 4 News about the whole 12DailyPro thing...I won't say exactly what we talked about but it turned into a heated discussion.

That pretty much ended my weekend. Next weekend is Convention :) in North Carolina!

I am sad

I am so sad and depressed. My life is just flashed before my eyes...I am no longer with my husband and I am a single mom...and I cannot fathom the idea of being with anyone ever again...I am so lonely it hurts...I have literally anything I can possibly want...and it doesn't help. My poor daughter...I always focus on all this money I am making and my websites and being online yet I don't spend enough time with her. I am so bad. I remember when I was still pregnant and living in Mexico with my husband, who is no longer my husband now. :*( I have a my beautiful Daughter,great Job, great Friends, all the stuff I want and I am so miserable. I hope I am PMSing because I cannot stop crying even if I wanted too. I wish I could go back or something, anything...Oh just make it stop...why do things happen the way they do?? Why? They say we choose our own destiny then why would do this to myself then? No one understands and I am not going to try to make them too either. I guess I just have to "deal" and move on. But I really can't because I don't get it. I used to believe in fairy tales and I learned a lesson there let me tell you. AND no marriage is Perfect and I am not even sure worth it. God I am so sad!