How do you make Money?

MONEY: Sigh. It is so crazy to be so Ambitious (which happens to be one of my favorite words by the way), Determined, Persistent, and just to want to be spoiled and not know how to make money. Aren't those things supposed to be in sync with each other? Some days it just frustrates me to high hell! But I keep on it and I push it. I try to analyze and examine people like Oprah and Madonna and figure out what happened to make them so Successful? I read books like "The One Minute Millionaire" and "Think and Grow Rich". Then I look at myself and how I struggle to Understand the Concept of "Money" and Success. IT is not even all about money either, it is doing all the things you enjoy, getting what you want, being financially free, not having to worry, living life to the fullest. Honestly in a way I feel I deserve better, I think I am Different, Unique Individual. Maybe I am narcissistic or self-indulgent but at least I Am HONEST! ;)

I don't worship money but I know how much it would benefit me if I had some. Not that I can have a self-fufilling life without money but I like the Glamourous life and I would rather be self-made than marry it. I like the finer things in life, I like fresh flowers, candles, my favorite food and fine food when I want it, nice clothes, vacations whenever I want it, spa treatment any time, what is wrong with that?

PERSONAL: Right now, with all this stress on sex/relationships and money and work I am just eating myself into a hole. I can't help it. I keep saying wait till the new year but then I eat and try to eat more. Then I look at myself and hate myself. I really want to get into Professional Commerical/Promotions in 2005 but those last pictures I looked grotesque and not 16 anymore with a flat tummy and smaller figure. I wear a 9-10 now. I have no clue how that happened and my torso is just bigger and my arms and legs are still skinny. Men, If I could just meet one that would agree to my terms I would at least have that part of my life fufilled.

My point is I have needs and they need to be met. I cannot live an Isolated life anymore. Then their is my daughter, I just always hate myself for having a good time.

Well I was supposed to go to a Christmas party, my daughter and I to meet new people and my daughter got sick. That was Saturday. So the following Saturday (18th) we are going to go to the Santa's Workshop at the Rec Center and then maybe I could network there till I am ready to go to Church. Not that it is all about Networking, but I would like to meet some new people and see what they do to and have parties and everything else that normal people do.

WORK: Tomorrow I have to to do some more training. I am getting really frustrated being a temp, this is the second time the company I am with wanted me back on. It would help my income a great deal if they would just say "Your Hired!" I hope this is the final test of how my performance is.

BUSINESS: same ole, same ole.

More later,

Jacquelyn